Poppy’s Birthday Bash: Mary Does A Switcheroo

For day 5 of the Poppy’s Birthday Bash, I sweet-talked one of my favorite authors into coming up with a list for me. I’ve been lucky enough to get to know Mary Calmes this year, and she’s an awesome lady! I can’t wait to see what’s she’s come up with…

First of all, I want to thank Poppy for including me in her celebration. I hope you have a wonderful birthday.
As to my post, I wanted to talk about movies we all know and love that would have been better if they were m/m. There are so many, way more then I can mention here, but these are the ones that have jumped out lately. Normally, as I leave a theater or after watching a movie at home, I will turn to my husband and say, “That was good, but you know what would have been better…”

12. Armageddon: Be serious, if Harry Stamper (Bruce Willis) had actually been in love with AJ Frost (Ben Affleck) that movie would have been way more interesting. And think how much more painful it would have been when Harry sends AJ off the asteroid to save his life. Forget it; we’d have all been crying for days.

11. The Last Samurai: Katsumoto (Ken Watanabe) being in love with Nathan Algren (Tom Cruise) would have made that one even more of a tearjerker. If, after Katsumoto saves him at the beginning, he had moved Nathan into his house and slowly shown him the beauty of the culture and people…there would have been a long, slow seduction….that would have been better. And hotter.

10. The Avengers: Enough said. And may I say how much great free fic there is out there right now. Just amazingly, over-the-top good.

9. Wedding Crashers: If John Beckwith (Owen Wilson) had realized he was in love with his buddy Jeremy Grey (Vince Vaughn), instead of whatshername, and in the end, discovered that Jeremy loved him too….that would have been so good! Am I right?

8. The Lord of the Rings Trilogy: This is another no brainer and again, I’m not the only one who thinks so as evidenced by the staggering amount of slash fiction out there. Aragorn and Legolas? It just makes sense.

7. Footloose: Not the original with Kevin Bacon because really, him and Chris Penn? That was never appealing. But the remake? Uhm, yeah. And if you’re asking, why did she even go see the remake? Well, the answer to that is simple: I had to SEE. I loved the original so…I just had to. What saved it for me was imagining Ren (Kenny Wormald) and Willard (Miles Teller) together. They danced a lot. They were adorable.

6. Backdraft: The whole, I go, you go, we all go thing in Backdraft would have been that much better if Bull McCaffrey (Kurt Russell) and Axe Adcox (Scott Glenn) had been the two in love. Would have added a whole new dimension of tension and intrigue and maybe the ending would have gone another way. That would have been nice.

5. Point Break: So we have Bodhi (Patrick Swayze) and Johnny Utah (Keanu Reeves) and…let’s talk about those names a minute. Have you heard a better porn name then Johnny Utah? Okay so Johnny’s undercover and Bodhi is a hot surfer and they meet and one is the bad guy and one is the good guy and…it writes itself.

4. Tequila Sunrise: I have never seen such an unnecessary character as Michelle Pfeiffer’s Jo Ann Vallenari in this movie. You have Mac McKussic (Mel Gibson) and Det. Nick Frescia (Kurt Russell) who have been friends since they were kids. But then one day Mac and Nick are about to get busted by the cops and Mac tells Nick to run and he takes the whole blame, does time, becomes a criminal the whole nine yards. Nick becomes a detective. Years later in LA County, the only criminal you can’t mess with is Mac since Nick is way up the food chain now. It was good right there; a movie with them working it out would have been fantastic.

3. The Lost Boys: Don’t even get me started on all the symbolism in the movie and the names, Michael, David…that’s another post. But if Michael (Jason Patric) and David (Kiefer Sutherland) had been the ones to fall in love, then David wanting to make Michael a vampire would have taken on much more meaning. And David would have changed back to a regular guy once they killed Max and they could have lived happily ever after. That one really needs a rewrite.

2. Sherlock Holmes: The final no brainer on the list with the same amount of slash fic to back-up the fact that Sherlock and John should be together. Whether it’s the TV show or the movie, the detective and his faithful sidekick are a perfect couple.

1. The Magnificent Seven: At the end of the movie, Chris (Yul Brynner) and Vin (Steve McQueen) ride off into the sunset. Through the whole movie, Chris is the only one who really “gets” Vin and vice-versa. They’re both gunslingers, they both know that the end of their time is coming and that the number of guys like them is dwindling to nothing. They have fought together, side-by-side, laughed at each other’s jokes, grounded one another, and instead of splitting up, after everyone else is dead, they remain together. That one just needed a little editing and a quick kiss at the end. I would have been happy.

Okay so that’s it, so what movie do you all think we should take another look at? And as to questions for Poppy…
#1: What movie would you most like to see rewritten as m/m?

Oh man, that’s a tough one, Mare! Hmm. I mean, on the one hand, I could go with Star Wars. Luke and Han? Come on! Outside of that, any romance movie, cause I’m just that romantic. Ohhh…or what about X-Men First Class!

#2: What actor turns you into Poppy-goo? Mine is Keanu Reeves. Always and forever.

OMG, Mare! Imagine the Dracula movie with Keanu Reeves and Gary Oldman made into m/m…um…wow. But anyhoo, to answer your question, these days I’m totally addicted to Joe Manganiello. I mean, seriously, that man melts my butter!

#3: And finally, what is your all-time favorite movie?

It really depends on my mood. I love White Christmas this time of year, and I’ve watched the Pride & Prejudice (BBC version) about a million times. Oh, and the John Hughes movies of the 80’s. Yeah. Love those. Man, I really stink at just picking one. This is why I’m giving lists of 12! LOL


  1. New twist on a few flicks I hadn't thought about!! Except LOTR – Legolas, be still my heart!! HA!!!

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